Will.i.am Made A Smartcuff Called Puls

Casey Newton at The Verge:

After two and a half years of development, Will.i.am finally unveiled the smart “cuff” he has been working on with his consumer electronics company, i.am+. The Puls is a wearable wristband that tells time, but “it’s not a watch,” the Black Eyed Peas singer said repeatedly on stage at Dreamforce in San Francisco.

No no no no no no no no

Earlier in the presentation, an AT&T executive said the device is “enabling a millennial to fashionably tweet from her wrist while clubbing,” marking the first time those words have ever been in a sentence together.

No no no no no no non ono nonono nono onn on ono no no no god why is this happening

At the end of the event, Will.i.am brought models out on stage who were wearing clothing that contained battery packs capable of transferring battery power to the Puls as long as part of it remained in contact with the sleeve.

Guys, just excuse me for a second. I have to attach my smartcuff to my smartjacket so I can charge it up before we go to the club. Otherwise I won’t be able to fashionably tweet.

From my wrist.

I would do that, because I am a millenial. And that’s what we totally do.

You know what? Whenever I read these kinds of posts (or livestreams), I start thinking about how feasible quitting all tech and becoming say, a lumberjack, or a oil rig worker would be.

Sure, it’d be difficult, but why not?

There’s no smartcuffs in the forest.

There’s no clubs, or watch-like devices that “aren’t a watch” on an oil rig.

I could never ever have to read or use the term “wrist-tweeting.”

I’ve realised that in tech, Will.i.am is my anti-muse.

There will also be a solid-gold Puls and one with gold and diamonds, Will.i.am said.

Of course there will be. Of course.

(thanks for the tip-off @bogusjimmy! You’re killing me.)

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