7 ways Apple can win me back in 2019

Category: Features

Over the years, my relationship with Apple has soured. From fanboy to supporter, a workplace user and now a switcher, I think it’s fair to say the string may have finally broken on my Apple yo-yo.

That’s not to say how I feel is any reflection of how well they’re doing. Quite the opposite in fact. Last year they became the first US company worth a trillion dollars; they have hundreds of millions in cash tucked away for a rainy day and are largely considered the people to beat when it comes to smartphones, tablets and industrial design.

But something’s wrong. There’s been a turn. A shift in the tide, if you will, and now long time supporters like myself feel ostracised and ignored. It feels like they’ve lost their way. Their products no longer exhume excitement and as I’ve argued before, lack direction.

Apple need to win me back. And now, after downgrading their forecasted revenue for the first time since 2007, they might need to convince a lot of others too. So to help them out and be constructive, instead of merely criticising them, I thought I’d offer my thoughts on exactly how they might go about doing that.

1. Stop announcing things before they’re done

One of the greatest things about watching the old MacWorld streams was knowing that pretty much everything that was shown on that stage would be available immediately.

Of course there were exceptions to the rule, but in the wake of recent disastrous efforts such as Apple’s all-but-vapourware AirPower charger mat, the company has succumbed to this weird need tech companies have to spruik before delivering.

Stop it.

AirPower is never coming and Phil, Tim & the lads should never have announced it

2. Innovate (and show it)

Apple has one of the largest and most expensive R&D departments in the world, but have little to show for it. Or at least that’s how it looks.

For you and me, the ones buying their products, we don’t give a shit about what’s inside it. 99% of people’s queries of a product’s internal R&D growth can be summed up in a single question, “Is it better?”

We all know foldable screens are coming, we’ve all begged for a better battery life in our phones, but perhaps it’s time to look beyond the phone, venture out into the big bad world beyond the existing product silos! The people are done, hell even Ariana Grande is done. Thank u, next Apple! THANK U, NEXT!!

3. Don’t be greedy

iPhones don’t sell for A$2k because that’s how much they cost to make. It’s mostly because we’re all idiots that continue to pay ridiculous amounts for a device that we believe holds our lives on it.

Smartphone’s price tags continue to rise & we only have ourselves to blame

Free market capitalism, advertising, psychology, we’ve conditioned ourselves to paying what we do for smartphones and whilst Australians have always been victims of a little currency conversion gouging, what everyone pays for Apple devices is a little beyond a joke.

Yes, it’s been worse before (remember a A$5k Powerbook G4? I do), but Apple wasn’t the biggest company in the world then either. Stop taking us all for a ride and justifying with BS excuses, and subsidise your profit margins on hardware with the hundred of millions that are raked in on services like the App Store.

4. Don’t belittle your pros

You’ve got a Mac Pro coming. Prove it. I’m not saying announce it and don’t deliver it for 24 months like you’ve done already I’m saying shove everything into a case that serves a purpose (and isn’t a trashcan) and release it already. The iMac “Pro” is a BS product that costs way too much and conforms to an ecosystem your true pro consumers despise.

If you don’t want to do it, if you’re so scared to make something without mass appeal anymore then show some balls and release macOS properly to be installed on supported PC components. Embrace the Hackintosh and let feed a new generation of pros with supported blessing.

iOS is a abhorrent piece of dog shit that just happens to be the gold-standard for mobile OS’s.

5. Break iMessage out of jail and bring it to Windows & Android

Apple arguably has the best mass-adopted messaging platform available today. It’s secure, they give a rats about your privacy and protecting it, it has stickers (apparently people use them?), it works! The problem is it only works with people who have a Mac, or an iOS device.

Stop being dicks & put iMessage on other platforms

If Apple were serious about the platform, they’d roll it out to other device families. Their fear or rationale is that if they make it available then why would the user switch their hardware, and that’s pretty short-minded in my opinion. iMessage is a platform now, not just a messaging system. Apple Pay, which is still something Americans had no idea the rest of the world was already doing with PayWave, is the perfect example as to why they should move beyond the iOS/macOS boundaries and embrace billions of potential users with a monetary opportunity.

At the very least, make a god damn web version that I can use on a non-Apple device.

None of what we get today is crazy. It’s boring. It’s beige in “space grey”. Get crazy again Apple.

6. Pick a side in your internal OS war

My dream for WWDC this year is that they just stop beating around the bush and announce what the hell is going on with their operating system. And I say “system” because I’m so sure there’s a “one to rule them all” OS coming I’d bet my last (worthless) bitcoin on it.

macOS has served us so, so well. iOS is a abhorrent piece of dog shit that just happens to be the gold-standard for mobile OS’s. It’s time to show what’s next, Apple.

7. Stop conforming & think different

As they’ve turned into one of the world’s premier consumer product manufacturers they’ve also become a timid conformist for mass appeal. There is no “crazy” left in a company that’s forever fearful and protective of such a title. Apple used to be proud of being crazy. They pumped out crap like the eMate and the Newton, and hey, let’s not forget about the Cube!

None of what we get today is crazy. It’s boring. It’s beige in “space grey”. Get crazy again Apple.

There you have it, that’s my list. Some of them are more likely than others, I’ll be the first to admit that, but I think (or hope) that most are achievable. What about you though? What could Apple do for you that might persuade you to come back into the Apple fold? A real keyboard on a laptop? AirPods that stay in your ears? Yes? No? Maybe? Nope, that’s just me bitching again.

1 comment

  1. I gave up on the iPhone 3 or 4 years ago. It took a clean Android experience (thanks Sony Xperia and now the Pixel) and a decent camera, but I can’t stand the iOS way of doing things anymore.

    I’m now seriously considering switching from iPad to Surface Go as my main tablet. My main laptop has been a Dell for 2-3 years now because of a Windows requirement for some work I do. The Surface Go was supposed to be a cheap backup should the XPS 13 fail. Now I’m thinking it could well replace my iPad Air 2. I’ve been considering upgrading to an iPad Pro or the latest iPad because the Air 2 has been struggling a bit with some apps. My biggest frustration is I can’t use 1Password on the iPad in my apps, without opening the 1Password app, copying the password, going to the app, pasting it in. Android I can pretty much use 1Password in any password field in any app, Windows it’s a lot more accessible. iPad it’s a real pain. My next trip, I’ll probably leave the iPad at home and use Plex on the Surface Go and see how I cope. It also means I won’t need to take the iPad and the XPS so I can work more easily in Windows,

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